


Here's Looking At You, Kid

by slashsailing



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Age Regression/De-Aging, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 16:26:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashsailing/pseuds/slashsailing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bit of fun wherein:</p><p>Bones gets deaged for a week after the Enterprise passes through an anomalous electromagnetic field three years into their five year mission and so Jim has to cope with a sassy seventeen year old who is nosy as all get out and actually quite the flirt.</p><p>Based on this tumblr prompt: http://slashmytrek.tumblr.com/post/61103540348/so-i-may-have-been-watching-baby-karl-in-shark-in</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here's Looking At You, Kid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jerktohisbitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jerktohisbitch/gifts).



> The prompt was:
> 
> AU where the Enterprise passes through an energy field or some shit and Bone’s wakes up with no memory of Jim or being in space because his body has reverted back to being a teenager. And what Jim didn’t realise about teenage Bones, was that he was a hell of a delinquent and mouthy little shit at this age.
> 
> She asked for maybe a porn ending which i did not deliver because i suck

“Lieutenant Sulu, please tell me you haven’t broken my ship.” Jim says as the Enterprise suddenly drops out of warp with a shuddering force that reminds Jim of that time he almost drove himself into a quarry.

“It appears we just passed through an area of anomalous electromagnetic energy that resulted in the ship losing warp function.” Spock explains before Sulu has a chance to.

“Can you get us back on track?” Jim asks.

“Aye, Captain.” Sulu nod.

“Sickbay to Bridge.” And it’s Chapel’s voice floating in over the comm.

“Nurse Chapel?”  Jim questions. “Is everything okay down there? Where is Doctor McCoy?”

“You’d better come down here, Sir.” She advises. “You won’t believe me unless you see it.”

…

When Jim gets down to Sickbay the first thing he sees is that Chapel has put a privacy screen up around the bed closest to the CMO’s office. Bones is nowhere to be seen and that, coupled with the worried voice he’d heard from Chapel over the comm gives way to Jim’s only conclusion. Bones must be behind that privacy screen, lying on a biobed.  It’s not a conclusion Jim likes the sound of. But it’s a conclusion that’s proved right. What he doesn’t expect to see, however, is the _aliment_ which has rendered his CMO unconscious.

“His bio signs suggest he’s seventeen years and nine months old, and from what I’ve seen of his hormone levels and his general physiology that seems concurrent.” Chapel explains. “It happened when the ship dropped from warp, he looked as if he was just about to start a tirade about the incompetence of engineers and then suddenly he was on the floor in a heap.”

“Seventeen.” Jim repeats. It’s pretty much all he’s heard. His boyfriend of seven years, his _thirty-six_ year old boyfriend is now seventeen? Jim doesn’t know how to process that information – what exactly is he supposed to do with this new found knowledge? “Why’s he unconscious?” Jim asks instead, trying to focus on something other than the babyishness of Bones’ face, the way the rest of his jaw hasn’t quite been able to grow into those plush lips, how feminine they look on the otherwise boyish face. What is Bones going to say when he wakes up? He’s going to _freak_ , that much Jim is sure of.

“Seems like an after effect of the sudden shift in chemical balance, he should come around naturally in a few minutes, twenty tops.” Chapel says. “I’ll leave you alone with him, Captain.” She says with a comforting smile.

“Thank you, nurse.” Jim says with a relieved breath. He should be the one to explain this to Bones before the doctor jumps down the rabbit hole of furious panic. Jim takes one of Bones’ hands, they’re slightly smaller than what Jim’s used to but actually seem to be one of the more familiar parts of Bones’ body now that it’s reverted back to adolescents. The fingers are long and elegant but the palm is broad – Jim can see how they’ll grow into the strong, precise, reassuring hands Jim has become so accustomed to.

When Bones’ eyes start to flicker open Jim fills with dread. How is he meant to tell Bones that he’s trapped in his teenage body until they figure out a way to revert it? If it _can_ be reverted, that is.

The hazel eyes are the same, though and that calms Jim some.

Then Bones does something completely unexpected, he opens his eyes, flexes his fingers out of Jim’s grasp and asks: “who’re you?”

Jim blinks and the frowns.

“Jim.” He says. “Bones it’s me, _Jim_.”

Bones just flutters his lashes and pouts a bit. “What?” He huffs and then looks around his bay, still cordoned off by the privacy screen. “Are you a doctor? Am I sick?”

“What?” Jim questions but then realises he should have prepared himself for the possibility that it wasn’t just Bones’ body that has reverted back to thinking it’s seventeen. “Chapel.” He calls gently, sticking his head around the screen. “He doesn’t remember.” He breaths and hears the fear and distress within his own voice.

“I’ll run a brain scan.” Chapel says. “Would you like me to talk to him?” She asks.

“If she’s the nurse then who the hell are you?” Bones asks, already sounding less unconscious. His drawl is not as deep but he sounds just as aggravated as ever. “Look, ma’am.” He starts; gaze floating appreciatively over Chapel, his face softens, like butter wouldn’t melt. “Could you please explain to me what I’m doing in a hospital bed, because your friend here really ain’t too much help?”

“You’ve had a reaction to an electromagnetic field that our ship has passed through.” Jim interrupts, he’s not Chapel’s friend he’s Bones’ boyfriend and he doesn’t like this brush off that kid Bones is giving him or the way he’s eyeing his head nurse. “You are aboard the USS Enterprise, I am Captain James Kirk.”

“That’s real great, mister, and I’m sure it’s mighty fine wherever you are but you should probably head back up to the psych ward.”  Bones scoffs but Chapel confirms Jim’s story and explains that Bones was CMO but his body and seemingly his memory have regressed to that of his seventeen year old self. “Pops always wanted me to go into medicine.” Bones shrugs. It hurts Jim because he knows that this Bones still hasn’t had to face losing his father but Jim knows how much David McCoy’s death cost his son and fears that even the mention of it would have young Bones running for cover.

“If you’re the captain don’t you have to get back to the helm?” Bones suggests and it hurts Jim to think that his presence isn’t wanted or that the teen finds him in some way irritating.

“The bridge.” Jim corrects. “And no, my first officer Spock has the conn for the moment. You’re the CMO and my- well, my main priority is to make sure you’re okay.”

“Can’t I just head back to my quarters, or dorm or whatever? Until you Starfleet genius’ work out what to do with me?” Bones asks and then it hits Jim that they share quarters and there is shit in their shared quarters that will immediately scream that they are more than just friends. Like the photos on the desk or the _his doctor_ and _his captain_ matching t-shirts that Nyota got made for them in Risa last shore leave. If the fact that there’s only one bed doesn’t give it away, of course.

“Look, Bones.” Jim starts.

“Leo.” Bones corrects.

“We’re… you and I, well, ah, we’re a cou- we’re a _we_.” Jim says.

“A we? A couple? Us.” Bones clarifies, flicking his hand between himself and Jim.

“Yeah.” Jim nods.

“Could be worse, I guess.” Bones shrugs.

“Could be _worse_ … What do you mean _could be worse_?” Jim demands. “I’m Jim Kirk.”

“Means diddly squat to me, mister.” Bones shrugs.

“You shrug and awful lot for a seventeen year old, I know for a fact Eleanor McCoy wouldn’t let you get away with all that shrugging.” Jim huffs.

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, I s’pose.” Bones scoffs.

They fall into an awkward silence, Bones watching Jim with a petulant frown, firmly in place. Jim just rolls his eyes and tries to be the adult; he waits for Chapel to discharge the regressed CMO and leads him back to their quarters. Bones actually seems impressed for once, fingers trailing along the slightly abused spines of the real paper books they keep on the shelving unit above the desk and upturning the lava lamp paper weight Jim had bought, mainly out of impulse but also because _it’s neon Bones_.  The black undershirt he’s wearing and the standard issue pants hang off his slight frame in a slightly ridiculous manner. Even though seventeen year old Bones has clearly had his growth spurt he’s still all awkward angles and gangly limbs. Jim thought _he_ was a skinny teen but Bones is thin in a different way, not malnourished and feeble… It’s probably because Jim is so used to seeing firm muscle and plenty of it; this contrast is a stark one. The broad plains of Bones’ back have narrowed and his powerful thighs are replaced by thin little twigs.

On one hand Jim wants to laugh, on the other, he sort of wants to cry.

“One of my old t-shirts will probably fit you better.” Jim says, kneeling down to reach the bottom draw of their cabinet. He pulls out an old grey t-shirt, the cotton is soft from where Jim used to wear it so often. It’s a sentimental thing more than anything, the t-shirt he was wearing the day he left Riverside for the last time. The blood stains that the shirt was so accustomed to are long since washed away and it hasn’t fitted Jim since he started leading all those hand-to-hand classes and lithe muscle had given away to something a little more substantial.

Bones takes it along with the pair of navy sweat pants Jim also hands him and heads into the bathroom. Jim’s glad for that, doesn’t know how seeing a semi-naked Bones, even an adolescent one, will make him feel. The cuffs of the sweatpants are tucked under Bones’ heels and he’s turned up the sleeves of the t-shirt, whether that’s some attempt at a fashion statement or because Bones doesn’t like the feeling of fabric near his elbows Jim isn’t sure.

“So are you gonna go back to your Bridge now?” Bones wonders.

“I guess so.” Jim nods, rejection is radiating off of Bones, maybe the kid just needs time to settle, to get his head around everything. “The crew will do everything we can to make you feel at home until we can revert the regression.” Jim assures. “And I’ll sleep on the couch.”

…

M’Benga will be acting as CMO for the foreseeable while Spock and Chekov hypothesise ways to revert what’s happened. Jim just looks around the Bridge with a hopeless feeling sinking in his gut, his first officer seems to think they would have to recreate the anomalous energy, however not only does this seem slightly impossible given their current location in a federation starship but also could potentially cause various other aliments for other members of the crew and this risk cannot be justified - especially seeing as though Bones is in good health and not in any immediate danger.

“Don’t worry, Captain.” Uhura says. “I’ve contacted New Vulcan and the elders are also theorising various ways by which we might get Leonard back.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Jim offers her a weary smile and she returns to her station. Then suddenly the entire Bridge crew is looking over to the turbo lift and Jim already knows what they’re gawping at before he matches their gaze.

“Do you have to ask permission to walk on the bridge; I saw it in a holo once.” Bones says, looking directly at Jim as if there are no other crew members around.

“You don’t usually.” Jim returns and Bones grins a bit.

“Never did much like to stand on ceremony.” Bones shrugs, making his way out of the lift and downstairs, wandering around the various stations as Jim watches, he doesn’t think Bones will do anything stupid but who knows? Jim watches as Bones stops in front of Uhura’s station before he bats his eyelashes and greets the communications officer with an easy smile.

“And what do you do?” He asks her and Jim can’t help but get slightly jealous.

“I’m Nyota, I’m the chief communications officer.” She explains, smirking in Jim’s direction.

“So you’re good with your mouth, then?” Bones asks innocently and Jim nearly chokes. Uhura just eyes Jim as if he’s the one who has corrupted the once gentlemanly Southern doctor but then huffs out an amused little sound before Bones is off to the next station. He chatters with Chekov for a while and they debate the merits of physics over biology and vice versa while Jim tries to pay attention to the reports he’s meant to be writing. Chekov is twenty-two now but he is the youngest crew member on the bridge, and throughout the rest of the Enterprise if you discount one or two other newly posted ensigns and a yeoman or two.

“Bones.” Jim calls after a while, when the teen’s presence on the Bridge actually is starting to distract Chekov from navigating, or so Jim has come to decide anyway.

“Leo.” Bones corrects again.

“Look, kid.” Jim says and the entire Bridge crew sharply inhale, apart from Spock, an increase in volume while breathing would be illogical, he instead raises an eyebrow. “You’re distracting my crew and we have important work to do, so ah, you need to find something else to pass the time.” Jim’s voice is stern but he feels guilty just watching the spark of mischief dash from Bones’ eyes. They would have made the perfect teenage duo. America wouldn’t have known what had hit it.

“Captain.” Marcus interjects. “Why don’t I escort Leonard back to your quarters?”

“Ooh.” Bones perks up, looking across at Marcus. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Bones.” Jim warns. “You will stop flirting with my senior staff.”

“Could you maybe point me in the direction of the less senior staff then?” He smirks at Marcus who can’t help but laugh.

“You know, out of all the crew, if I had to bet on who would have regressed into a little cherubim of country charm and good manners it would have been you.” Jim huffs.

“Well then you’d be pretty broke right about now, huh?” Bones grins, following Marcus back into the turbo lift and disappearing from sight.

“He’s brilliant.” Sulu manages before chuckling to himself.

“And wery bright.” Chekov adds.

“And a complete pain in my ass.” Jim huffs.

“What goes around comes around I suppose.” Uhura says gently.

“Indeed.” Spock agrees. “Perhaps the karmic cycle does have some evidence in its favour after all.”

“That’s completely illogical.” Jim pouts, both praying for and dreading the end of shift – no doubt he’ll come home to utter carnage.

…

When Jim gets back to his quarters at half six he has almost forgotten that he’s not going to be coming home to his CMO but a teenager who’s now thirteen years younger than him. He’s quickly reminded of that fact when he steps into the entrance hall and is greeted with music. Music he’s quite sure isn’t part of his collection and certainly isn’t anything adult Bones would entertain listening to. It’s loud and the artist is shouting about some various type of Andorian drug, Bones is shifting around the room, bopping his head slightly in time with the noise and eating his way through Jim’s white chocolate reserves.

“You’re meant to ask before you eat people’s food.” Jim huffs, snatching away what little remains of the milky-creamy-vanilla goodness and taking a savage bite for himself – it doesn’t taste as good as he hoped it would.

“What’s mine is yours?” Bones suggests with an unapologetic grin.

“What’s mine is mine.” Jim scowls. “And this chocolate is _mine_.”

“So greedy.” Bones pouts but shrugs and then goes to turn up the volume on the sound system.

“Don’t even think about it. Turn it off and go to sleep.” Jim instructs.

“No.” Bones huffs, although he does turn the music off. “It’s like six pm.”

“Okay, so maybe I get that you’re going out of your mind with boredom but there are loads of free PADDs in the draw, I’m sure you could find ways to occupy yourself.” Jim suggests, trying not to lose his patients. “I have to sign off on some of these requisition forms and I have to write a report about your little affliction. I should probably comm your mom too.”

“Is that necessary?” Bones asks.

“Well I mean, we comm her once a fortnight anyway so-”

“ _We_?” Bones says. “Are we really at that stage, like met the parents, have thanksgiving together, yadda yadda?”

“Yeah, we’ve ah, we’ve been dating for seven years.” Jim says, and it sounds like a long time even to him.

“Wow.” Bones says, and it actually sounds sincere. “I can’t imagine dating someone for seven _minutes_ let alone years.”

“So seventeen year old Bones is single and ready to mingle then?” Jim laughs as Bones blushes.

“I guess so.” And then he smiles in what Jim supposes is meant to be an alluring ways but Bones just looks too damn babyish. “And you’re really not _that_ bad.”

“Thanks kid.” Jim rolls his eyes, not even biting at the backhanded compliment. “But it’s not going to happen.”

“But we’re dating.” Bones grins.

“No, technically we don’t start dating for another like, twelve years so let’s just keep this all PG.” Jim says. “Now I’m going to do my reports and you’re going to…”

“Find a PADD and amuse myself?” Bones guesses.

“See, under all that bullshit is a really smart kid.” Jim smirks.

“Don’t patronise me.” Bones huffs.

“Sure thing, kid.” Jim says, and now it feels a bit like payback. Maybe this will be fun…

…

It is, for a day or two. Bones uses the recreational deck to shoot pool with whoevers willing and run a few laps to burn off all that adolescent energy. Jim already knew Bones did a bit of cross country in High School and he gets to see the evidence of it now – it’s nice actually. Learning about Bones before his life went to shit. Jim has been cautious not to give too much away about the years starting from meeting Jocelyn, when he was twenty, through his marriage and culminating in the death of his father at twenty eight which resulted in the quick decline of said marriage and enrolment into the academy.

Jim just tells Bones he studied real hard at Ole Miss, became a doctor at twenty-five because he’s such a clever little shit, and joined the academy to challenge himself a bit more.

Bones doesn’t ask lots of things about his twenties, way more focused on getting to the bottom of their relationship.

“Why haven’t you guys gotten married?” He asks.

“We don’t need a piece of paper.” Jim shrugs, but really it’s because he knows Bones thinks marriage is the root of all evil and won’t subject Jim to it.

When Jim strides into his quarters on the third evening Bones is sitting on the bed in a newly acquired t-shirt from Chekov looking at the contents of a box Jim should have thought to hide. Jim’s heart is in his throat, he feels the necessary embarrassment that then tinges into the realm of complete mortification before he collects himself.

“Curiosity killed the cat, Bones.” Jim says, trying to keep his voice level. Bones jumps at the unexpected intrusion but rights himself quick enough.

“I’m a snoop, what can I say.” Bones shrugs, he probably wasn’t expecting Jim home this early and now he’s blushing a bit and it’s sort of adorable and Jim wants to pinch his cheek, just a bit, but this isn’t the time.

“Should we maybe put the box away?” Jim suggests.

“I dunno.” Bones shrugs and he’s smirking now, _the little shit_. “It’s a pretty expansive collection you have, I’m not finished rummaging.”

“You usually rummage through people’s sex toys?” Jim huffs.

“Well they’re sort of mine, aren’t they?” Bones counters.

“No they are not.” Jim states. “That’s a mental image I can _so_ do without.”

“You really need all these di-”

“Bones!” Jim interrupts. “Put the lid on the box and go be nosy elsewhere.”

“You’re mighty grumpy. Shall I leave the box out, do you need some alone time?” Bones deadpans.

“Go.” Jim shoos, trying not to laugh. Jim _does_ want some ‘alone time’ but just the sight of the box reminds him that Bones will probably choose the worst moment to come back into their rooms and so he foregoes any thought of entertainment for a quick rendezvous with the sonics and a spring cleaning session.

…

Scotty invites Bones along to the weekly poker night and even though Jim has serious reservations about the whole thing it’s only going to be Scotty, Pavel, Gaila and Carol, so Jim feels slightly safer about the situation. Until Scotty gets frustrated that even teen Bones is good at poker and tries to feed him moonshine to dull his abilities. The girls take advantage of Bones’ teetering drunkenness and ask him about how far he’s gone and if he thinks Jim is handsome.

“I’ve only been with girls.” Bones admits. “Girl.” He corrects with a little flush. “Her daddy’s mighty strict and he doesn’t let her out late but you can climb up the trellis in the back yard real easy.”

“And Jim?” Gaila reminds and Bones offers the man in question a side glance and a smile.

“He’s a catch.” Bones admits, accent slurring slightly.

“In twelve years, Bonesy.” Jim reminds. Bones doesn’t correct him about the nickname anymore and Jim took that as a small victory, glad to be able to keep up some semblance of normalcy between them.

“Maybe I’ll win you ‘round sooner.” Bones says, batting big hazel eyes in Jim’s direction.

“Okay kid, you’ve had enough.” Jim says prying the moonshine out of Bones’ hand and scowling at Scotty who laughs heartily before sweeping credits into Keenser’s hat. Jim begins to make his way back to their room and so Carol and Gaila kiss Bones on each cheek before quickly sending him off after Jim, it’s easy to get lost down in engineering when you’re unfamiliar with the ship, let alone drunk and unfamiliar.

Bones collapses on the sofa that night and Jim regains the luxury of his own bed, the pillows still smell like his Bones and this Bones and even though he doesn’t have to contort his body into an awkward position Jim can’t seem to find sleep. And he’s even less relaxed when he feels the covers lift and Bones slip in behind him.

“Kid.” Jim starts.

“Please.” Bones murmurs. “Being up here, in space, it’s… When I think about it too hard I get- I just don’t like sleepin’ alone, is all.”

“C’mere.” Jim says, pulling Bones to him. Jim slides closer to the headboard and Bones lays his head on Jim’s chest, his arm thrown over Jim’s middle. “You used to hate flying. We got through it though. It still makes you uneasy sometimes. But we work at it.”

“Seems I’m pretty lucky to have you.” Bones says sleepily.

“We’re lucky to have each other.” Jim corrects but the teen’s breath has already evened out and Jim’s words go unheard.

…

The rota changes and so Jim’s shift finishes at two, he heads back to his quarters to find them empty. It’s not so weird, Bones is free to walk around the ship and dabble in whatever takes his interest but when Jim asks the computer for Leonard McCoy’s location and it informs him that the teen is in Sickbay Jim does start to worry.

“Kirk to Sickbay.” He comms.

“It’s Chapel, sir. Is everything alright?” She asks.

“Is Bones with you?” Jim asks.

“Yes, he’s helping me with inventory.” She replies.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Chapel repeats.

“I just, when the computer told me he was in Sickbay I got worried.” Jim explains.

“He spends a lot of time helping out down here. Keeps him busy.” Chapel says.

“Right, well, just let him know my shift’s changed so I might not be around when he gets back.” Jim says and he can hear Chapel laugh as she cuts the comm link.

Jim is actually asleep when Bones gets back to their rooms but the kid is about as quiet as an unprimed warp core, chattering away as if Jim actually cares and so Jim cracks an eye open to show his irritation.

“Sorry.” Bones says ruefully and looking a touch embarrassed. “I didn’t know you were sleeping.”

“S’okay.” Jim sighs, feeling bad for feeling aggravated. “Shift rotations are always a bitch. I get a bit snappy.”

“Don’t worry. I know it can’t be easy. You’re waitin’ for your boyfriend to come home and you get stuck with this smart-aleck seventeen year old.” Bones smiles.

“It’s strange because you pretty much sass me all the time normally, it’s just, I kinda thought you’d be an angelic kid, Elle never said you were a brat.” Jim grins.

“I’m not a brat.” Bones huffs. “Just like pressin’ your buttons.”

“Nothing changes there.” Jim chuckles.

“I guess it makes sense, to be crushin’ on you. If we end up together.” Bones says.

“And I am very hot.” Jim adds.

“And mighty modest.” Bones laughs.

“Look, maybe if you were twenty one, or remembered everything, we could – you know.” Jim inclines his head meaningfully.

“Have some fun?” Bones supplies.

“Right.” Jim nods.

“I ain’t some blushin’ bride.” Bones huffs.

“But you’re seventeen, and technically you’ve known me for about a week.” Jim says. “When we do get you back to your adult self I’m gonna have some words about how happy you seem to just give it up to anyone who comes along.”

“You’re not just anyone though, right? Seven years is a long time. You can’t be a total creep.” Bones scoffs. “And yeah, I’m _seventeen_ so of course I wanna get laid.” 

“Spock thinks if we can go back to the precise placement of the energy field we should be able to recreate the conditions for your age reversal.” Jim starts.

“Don’t change the subject, mister.” Bones huffs.

“I’m not even entertaining the thought of sleeping with you.” Jim huffs.

“So grouchy.” Bones huffs. “I’ll head back down to Sickbay and let you sleep.”

“You do that.” Jim huffs.

…

When Jim is rudely awoken for the second time it isn’t Bones’ fault, it the beeping of his comm. He reaches out to the bedside table and feels around for it, flicking it open with one hand and murmuring _Kirk_ in a voice he hopes is loud enough to carry.

“Captain? It’s Chapel, Leonard is back with us. I’m not discharging him until he’s had a full physical but I thought you ought to know.” She says.

“Thank you nurse, I’ll be with you in five.” Jim says. Getting clothes on and getting down to Medical actually takes him seven minutes but he doubted anyone was counting.

“Jim.” Bones huffs, sitting on the edge of the biobed in a patient gown. “For Christ’s sake, Christine, would you _please_ get my spare uniform out of my office?”

“Not until I’ve checked you over.” The nurse counters and Jim has to bite back his laugh because Bones is glaring at him too.

“Hey Bones.” Jim says. “You remember everything?”

“Unfortunately.” Bones huffs. “I don’t remember being such a mighty pain in the ass.”

“It was probably just a phase.” Jim says dryly and Bones shoves at him in retaliation.

“I can’t believe you let Scotty get me rats assed.” Bones scoffs. “If he thinks he’s winnin’ again this week he’s got summin’ else coming.”

“I’m glad your back.” Jim sighs with relief.

“You’re just horny as fuck.” Bones states, looking unamused but Jim can see the little quirk of a smile playing at his lips.

“Damn right.” Jim grins. “It’s been over a week Bones, I haven’t had to go a week in a really long time. Actually, the last time I was psychically _dead_.”

“Don’t remind me.” Bones says. “It’s okay though, I’ll let you get the box out tonight.”

“You’re such a gentleman, Bones; I just don’t know what to do with myself.” Jim feigns looking flattered and then grins.

“Well I have a few ideas.” Bones smirks and this time maybe Jim does blush a little bit because it’s been a while since he’s had Bones’ attentions focused solely on him and it feels so right. “Cool it, darlin’.” Bones purrs. “I’ll be out of here soon enough.”

“Patience never was my strong point.” Jim reminds.

“I’m surprised you didn’t have your wicked way with kid me.” Bones admits. “Mouthy little shit might have learnt something useful if you had.”

“A tiny part of me regrets not taking baby Bones’ virginity.” Jim laughs, Bones scowling all the while. “Wouldn’t have been right, though.”

“Probably not.” Bones agrees.

“But you’re back now.” Jim says.

“And on mandatory medical leave for the next twenty four hours, Captain.” Chapel says upon re-entering the area around Bones’ biobed, she’s smirking and Bones just glares at her.

 “Dammit Chapel, I’m a doctor not a call girl.”

“I think that might be up to Captain Kirk to decide tonight.” She says, concealing a giggle and setting down her tricorder.

“I like your thinking, Christine.” Jim grins, pulling up a completely indignant Bones by the biceps. “Make sure to let Mister Spock know that Bones is back with us and that I might be slightly late for the shift change tomorrow.”

“Will do, Captain.” Chapel nods, turning back to her work while the mutterings of _dammit Jim_ fade from Sickbay. 


End file.
